Firsts

Today I breast fed and drove a truck for the first time. Breast feeding was harder haha. 

When in Texas

A few observations from my extended stay in Texas so far:

Nobody seems to be in a particular hurry. I'm still walking around like I'm rushing to catch the next metro train. Everyone else ... A casual saunter at best. 

The local top 40 radio station is obsessed with Maroon 5. I can't get  Sugar out of my brain it is played so much. 

I'm pretty sure Blue Bell cookies and creme ice cream has medical healing properties. It's a little bowl of happiness each evening before bed. 

People here are seriously sweet. Zach and I went to Starbucks the first time and the person ahead of us in the drive through paid for our order. It almost brought me to tears. Most of Gracie's nurses I am convinced are angels walking on earth (one keeps on referring to Gracie as a he, so the jury's still out on her). 

Olivia Grace

Well if you asked me 16 days ago if I ever expected to be sitting in a Texas NICU staring at my daughter I would have thought you were crazy. But I guess if you were given a warning before   your life turns upside down, life would be just a little less interesting.

Sixteen days ago I woke up at my in laws house in Texas, just in-town for the weekend to meet our newest nephew. By the time we got to brunch to hang out with our family and meet the newest addition I was absolutely not feeling well. My miscarriage in May definitely affected this pregnancy. The whole time I was a bottle of worry, so that Sunday when I was having really bad back pain I tried to rationalize that this was just my third trimester talking. I felt that I was too much of a worrier, so I didn't pay enough concern to how I was feeling. My back pains continued but I never felt the menstrual cramps that everyone associated with labor. Zach was getting more concerned and when I decided we should go to the doctor it officially became too late. My water broke in the bathroom upstairs so we walked down stairs to get ready to go. Less than 2 minutes later (the most terrifying of my life) our daughter was born ... 9 weeks and 1 day early. I was absolutely convinced we lost her but Zach got 911 on the phone right away and tied off her umbilical chord which my pediatrician cousin said saved her life.

So Zach and I definitely did not plan to have our baby 9 weeks early in another state, but we couldn't be luckier how this truly scary experience happened. Gracie girl came when we were at home, together. She could have come when we were on the plane or when I was alone. We were taken to a hospital only 7 miles from Zach's in-laws with a top of the line NICU and some of the most amazing nurses I have ever come across. It could have been much much worse.

Two plus weeks in I would not say I'm getting used to this new life, but I am trying my best. My life revolves around the 2 hour and 15 minute window between each pumping session. I try to spend a good chunk of each day at the NICU. In the beginning all we could do was watch, then we progressed to diaper changes, and now the best, we are able to do skin to skin time with Gracie girl. Physically I feel fine, it hasn't really dawned on me that I gave birth, and mentally it is an every day journey. I feel guilty when I'm not with her, but know it's important to take those breaks so I'm not fired when she is eventually home. I get over emotional at milestones I never knew to think about ... When she got her breathing machine off, the first time I saw her in clothes, each ounce she gains. She is a feisty little girl, and I know that is due in part to all the prayers, love and support she is getting from all our friends and family. I honestly could not be more proud of her.